Failure In Kyoto

The trials and tribulations of my Japanese comprehension has been a humbling experience. It is hard facing the fact that I really do not know Japanese anymore. I have high points where I will have a full conversation in Japanese with a local and then right after that have a complete and utter failure of a conversation with someone in the most basic of situations. Case and point; Peter and I trying to order curry at CoCo Ichi. CoCo Ichi is pretty much the Denny's of Japan. They have the big colorful menus, diner like atmosphere, and cheap eats. I will first give a description of what I thought they were saying and then what they were actually saying.

Jake's account of what happened:
Me: I will have the pork cutlet curry.
Waiter: Would you like rice or cauliflower?
Me: Rice.
Waiter: How much rice would you like?
Me: 300 grams.
Waiter: How much cauliflower would you like?
Me: I don’t want cauliflower.
Waiter: has puzzled look. Points to what I think is the amount of cauliflower options.

What actually happened:
Me: I will have the pork cutlet curry.
Waiter: How much rice would you like and how hot would you like your curry?
Me: Rice.
Waiter: How much rice would you like?
Me: 300 grams.
Waiter: How hot would you like it?
Me: I dont want cauliflower.
Waiter: Has puzzled look. Points to level of spice chart.
Peter: having the benefit of going second does not have as much trouble. We still don't understand the spice chart.

Yes, that is a hot dog in a crepe.

This was quite demoralizing for us both. It was still bothering us the next day until we had a miraculous comeback. We walked into a breakfast spot, sat down, and opened the Japanese menu. The waiter came by, noticed we were foreign, and proceeded to give us English menus. He then came back and asked if we were ready. I replied 'we will need a second' in Japanese and he proceeded to take our English menus away. Success! We then were able to use Japanese for the entirety of the meal and looked super cool.

Peter has pointed out that the common denominator may be how we start out days. The day we failed at Japanese we started the day watching the ducks game on an illegal internet stream. The day we rocked it out we started the day putting on asexual kimonos and taking silly pictures.

I think we just have to abandon all that is American to pull this off. We really have had many more successful encounters than failures. We just tend to let the failures stick with us. One time we went to a hole in the wall bar that the hostel receptionist recommended. When we walked in one of the waiters yelled to the crowd something to the effect of “Welcome! Hey everyone we have some foreigners” . I ended up calling him out in Japanese and he was both shocked and a little embarrassed. Booyah.

Kyoto was a pretty fun stay. There was not a lot to do nightlife wise but all the touristy stuff was entertaining. The first day we got around town by walking and taking the subway. By the end my legs were exhausted and I was angry at the subway for not being as efficient and convenient as the one in Tokyo. The second day we decided to rent bicycles. This really is the best way to see Kyoto. Plus you look totally bad ass riding on these sweet bikes. The stylish basket at the front really ties the whole package together.

While riding down the street we passed a very strange thing. It was two older buses painted in all black playing old wild west songs. Like showdown at high noon music. They kind of reminded me of the parade car from Animal House. Peter is convinced that they were some type of racist group spreading the good word. The more I think about it I think he is right. It was a pretty ridiculous sight. I took a video and will try to get that up when I can.

We have just arrived in Osaka. We have had a very interesting time so far. You will have to wait for that story. I realize the formatting on this post is wacky. I don't feel like taking the time to fix it. If you have any complaints, please submit them to this image.