I have gotten close to kicking my jet lag and finally functioning on Bangkok time but it hasn't entirely worked out yet. I usually crash around 9pm and wake up around 3am. Sometimes i am able to wrestle myself back to sleep but other nights i am stuck in insomnia mode with nothing to do. TV is the obvious go to in these situations. Over all Thai TV is horrible. Its not funny and not entertaining like other Asian TV programs i have seen. I usually turn it on, zone out, and forget i was watching TV in the first place. The channel selection is pretty diverse here however. I get channels from all over the world; France, England, UAE, Qatar, China, and a number of Thai stations. The two us stations we get are Fox News and SyFy channel. Needless to say ive been watching a lot of SyFy.
This brings me to last night. I once again wake up at 3 and could not go back to sleep. This is when a magical program illuminated my TV screen; Gossip Teen News. I was hooked by the name alone. This is still relavant? I know boy bands are big in Asia but a full show dedicated to them? It was amazing. Most of the show went something like this:
Female: OMG have you seen PuPan's new hair!?!Male: OMG no whats it like?!?
Female: Lets take a look!
.........
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!Okay, to be fair, this was the internal dialog going on in my head. Being that i cant say or understand a word in Thai i have no idea what was going on. Also i may or may not have made up the band or singer PuPan. That being said, if you try to take it i will sue your pants off. Now im just getting carried away. Wait, what's that?
Male: Its time for First Class Artist! (At least i think its first. That was the assumption i made. It really looks more like a jacked up S than an F. Maybe Irst is some popular Thai slang? For the purposes for this, um travel blog post, we will stick with First. Sorry to keep you waiting. I know the anticipation is killing you.)
Male: Lets see who it is!
Female: OMG ITS K-OTIC! So edgy, so cool, with the dash in the name. Its dangerous but still fits in with modern family morals. Just look at that pile of hunky man meat. (this is how i assume girls talk about hunky guys. I give it an 89% confidence level)
Male: Lets see if anyone in K-OTIC has a new haircut!
Male: OMG turn it off, turn it off. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit and swallowed it because i was so disgusted! It looks like he shaved half of his head and then taped a fully cooked chickens rib cage on the other side! Next image, next image!
Female: Okay, that's better. The other members of K-OTIC really balance out the rest of the look. I think we can now proceed.
This is where i was really stumped. By law, all boy bands have to follow the same formula pioneered by new edition and perfected by the backstreet boys. Theres the bad boy, the clean cut one, the leader whose hotter than the rest, the older brother type, and the Ringo. To clarify on the Ringo, the Ringo is really the one in the band whose not as hot as the rest but somehow fits and gets a small, but also unattractive following. They will ultimately will be the least successful in the group in the long run, but they still serve a very important purpose.
When we apply this to K-OTIC, its hard to pinpoint which member takes on which personality trait. Lets get rid of the obvious choices and start with our friend chicken bone. He is clearly the 'bad boy'. Past that is where this gets tricky. To his left we have a strong contender for the Ringo. He looks just like Ringo but it just doesn't work. Hes too boring. The Ringo is usually goofy and that's the source of his charm. As an unattractive goofy man i am well aware of this tactic.
Next we have the young fellow in the middle. Looks just like a jonas brother. This would be an obvious choice for the leader but once again there's just something about him that doesn't fit. The other two suffer from the same problem. I just don't understand how this band made it. They have defied the laws of boy band science.
Ultimatly i have no idea how popular this band is. They were on TV so they must have some level of success. I checked out the pop charts for Thailand and the current number one boy band is called 25 Hours. A quick Google image search of '25 Hours band' will tell you why. I initially was going to write a quick post about my insomnia but i got a little carried away. I guess that's insomnia. I will leave you with a Thai TV honorable mention:
Who would have thought the Thai had mastered time travel? I for one am impressed. And all i have to do is send a text message? Fascinating! Also, i ate the following item at around 5am this morning. I do not recommend it. I do not recommend it at all.
After reading this over i think i probably need some type of therapy. The excuse of 'Jake is just using his imagination' doesn't really work when your 26 and alone in Bangkok.
